


ash & dust

by kecchan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Hitman AU, Jashinism, Naruto Secret Santa 2017, Stream of Consciousness, Swearing, car ride conversations, drug mention, like a lots of swearing bruh hidan's there, some people die but it's nobody you would care for, the cigarette kiss is what i live for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 07:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13141995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kecchan/pseuds/kecchan
Summary: The Organization gathered the best hitmen from all around the world. And that's rather unfortunate for the gangs in Yugakure.Especially if the dispatched men are Kakuzu and Hidan, the most ruthless and the least subtle hitmen around.





	ash & dust

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ghost_Kaiju](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghost_Kaiju/gifts).



The Organization gathered the best hitmen from all around the world, masters of deception and assassination; freaks and outcasts and terrifyingly strong. Their methods are not the cleanest – but they always get the job done.

Kakuzu was considered a veteran among the members. No one really knew where he came from; they wasn’t even sure Kakuzu was his real name and not many could claim that they had ever seen his face. There were only two things they were sure about: he would do  _anything_ for the right amount of money and he never fails a mission.

And his latest partner (Kakuzu preferred not to talk about what happened to the ones before him), Hidan, was also a peculiar one. A runaway kid who started out from the drug business in one of the gangs in the other side of the country and who soon gained fame when he – all alone in a summer afternoon (almost a year ago by now), wielding only his knife and a gun - murdered the head of the rival gang. And survived. That was when the Boss took interest in him and offered Hidan a place in the Organization. He refused at first. Then he refused again. Only when he realized –  _almost too late_  – how many people were after him (after the disgustingly high bounty on his head) did he accept the offer of the Akatsuki. No one really understood why didn’t the Boss just hand him over for the money.

Together they were unstoppable. Hidan might not have been the most discreet one around – but he sure as hell enjoyed his job. Too loudly usually, lord, he just wouldn’t shut up for a moment - but he was not afraid to get his hands dirty. Kakuzu was sure he would successfully finish a mission even if he got both his arms blown off. That brat was a fucking mess.

Kakuzu had to admit that Hidan, despite being the insufferable little bitch he usually was, complemented him quite well. The way he killed was ruthless and painful, but he was honest; he never killed from behind. He always told his victims what he’s there for; sometimes they fled, some tried and fought back. Every now and then Kakuzu would watch him fight through the scope of his rifle, the fire in Hidan’s eyes (he never bothered to ask about the unnatural eye colour; that was the least weird thing about Hidan), his rapid movements full of pure strength and brutality. He was anything but majestic, a demon incarnate, ugly and loud and ecstatic. It was so different from Kakuzu’s cold and habitual professionalism; Hidan was alive when he was playing with death.

And nowadays there was something else in the way Hidan fought. A month or two ago while digging through Kakuzu’s book collection he found an old book (Kakuzu couldn’t even remember seeing it; he hadn’t the slightest idea how it got there.) about an ancient, long forgotten religion, built on violence, pain and human sacrifice. It was practiced thousands of years ago, but Hidan claimed there were still people who called themselves the followers of the vengeful and bloodthirsty Jashin. And he would pray before a mission, holding onto some ugly handmade rosary. It was weird and disturbing, his devotion to this newly-found deity – and the prayers had the tendency to get annoyingly long. Kakuzu in exchange complained a lot about it, even though he understood him way too well; in this profession, in this life one needs such a fixation to avoid going insane.

———

A few days ago the Boss called both of them to assign them a new mission; not a top one but better than nothing. All they had to do was to get rid of an enforcer and his posse from a Northern City gang. It wasn’t unusual for the Organization to get involved in gang or mafia issues; the Boss could always dispatch someone who had affiliations with someone around. And this time it was Hidan. The target was part of a gang named Coppers who originated in Yugakure, Hidan’s hometown, operating somewhere in the western blocks of the city. Hidan still had his sources (and the stupidity to actually accept the mission and go back) and Kakuzu decided not to ask too much.

The day of the mission arrived and it was time for him to leave now. Half past five; Hidan should be here already.

And as he left his flat, he could already spot the man leaning against his car on the sidewalk, eyes closed, rosary brought upon his chapped lips. He didn’t pay attention even as he approached him. Kakuzu stood next to him in silence for almost a minute. Hidan knew that he was there. Kakuzu knew that he knew. The usual.

\- Hey.

No answer. He tried again. Hidan didn’t even bother.

\- Couldn’t you have done this at home? We should get going, idiot.

\- Fuck off, I’m in the middle of something. - Hidan hummed, eyes still closed. They were going to be late.

\- Can you really say “fuck” in a prayer?

\- I’m praying for a good kill and you scold me for swearing? Nice.

\- That’s not what I meant. But could you just finish it in the car? - He threw their bags in the trunk of the car. He was starting to lose his patience.

\- Whatever. I’m going to have to start again anyways, because  _someone_  interrupted me.

At that point Kakuzu decided not to say anything. He got in and reluctantly though, but Hidan crawled on the passenger seat too. He started his prayer again, and Kakuzu began driving. If there was one thing he was grateful about in Hidan’s fucked up religion is that at least the prayers were silent. Mostly. After about twenty minutes of silence Hidan opened his eyes. He leaned back, stretching his arms.

\- Finally that we got a fucking mission. It’s really been a while.

\- Yeah. - Kakuzu nodded.

\- The Boss hates me I tell ya. That’s why I hardly ever get any missions.

Kakuzu decided to bite back his initial reply for this, and right before his silence could have been classified as awkward he could change the topic.

\- So you know those guys?

\- More or less. The Coppers were our buddies. They are real big on smuggling and whores, at least they were back then. Knew a chick there, always got her meth from me.

\- Doesn’t it feel weird, going back to them with this contract? - Kakuzu glanced over to his partner.

\- Listen, they would’ve gladly shot me for a dime if things turned that way. And in fact, things did fucking turn  _that way_  so I don’t give a shit.

\- Fair enough.

Hidan sighed and rested his head against the window. They were sitting in silence for minutes. The sky was dark; tiny yellow dots indicated the neighbouring towns on the horizon.

\- I wonder how things go up there nowadays.

\- You miss them?

\- You could say. I dunno. These kinds of people were my family for so long. As close as it can get with such people I mean, we just didn’t hate each other as much. Better than nothing.

\- Crime brings people together. - Kakuzu nodded.

\- Yeah. Hard times but I liked it there.

\- Would you like to go back?

\- I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. - he started fiddling with his rosary, staring out of the window blankly - And I really don’t get why they turned on me. I did what they wanted, damnit.

\- Trust me, I know the feeling. - Kakuzu sighed. His markings would not let him forget that even if he wanted to. – But my bet’s on the money.

\- Yeah, of course, I know, money’s the most important thing, it makes the world go round and it’s the only thing that matters, yeah, yeah. - Hidan groaned, his words soaked in the purest sarcasm.

Kakuzu didn’t respond to his obvious bait, being lost deep in his thoughts. Maybe they really weren’t that different after all; no wonder Hidan chose to get pulled into this disturbing borderline fanatism he calls religion. He had to keep his thoughts occupied with something. Yes, he knew this too well.

\- We’re almost there. - Hidan’s voice pulled him back from his thoughts.

They soon reached Yugakure. It was already dark, old street lamps and buzzing neons guiding them through the streets. They parked down a few streets further; as they got out Kakuzu pulled up his hood and adjusted his vest, looking around the street. To put it mildly, it was ugly and worn; so many of the buildings in ruins, and those that were intact were covered in graffiti and piss. Nobody cared to clean the trash from the street. Hidan started talking, as if he noticed the way Kakuzu stared.

\- You know, for so long this hellhole had the reputation of being the nicest, cleanest place up in the North. Really. Then about, let’s say, ten years ago… - he was visibly struggling to find the right words. He touched the rosary hanging on his neck - shit happened. Man, I was a snotty lil kid but I still remember the riots. Half the city was in flames. Everything went downhills since and nobody fucking cares.

\- I remember hearing it in the news once, yes.

\- So yeah, that’s fucking it. Welcome to Yu’ I guess.

\- Great. - Kakuzu sighed - Let’s get going.

The streets were empty. On one balcony Kakuzu saw two girls smoking, but that’s all he could say about the life he saw in the city so far. Even the street of the bar was relatively empty, a few drunk people leaning by the walls, smoking god knows what and talking about matters he was sure he should be grateful he didn’t hear. He was eyeing a taller building across the bar; that roof would be just good. He pulled up his scarf higher on his face.

\- Let’s get to it. Find a good place. And take care.

\- Fine. - Hidan waved and turned around; he decided it was time for him to cover his face too.

Kakuzu picked up his bag and took his way to the rooftop. The old exit ladder was painfully creaky, threatening to fall apart with every step. Hidan was waiting in the alley a few meters away from the bar. Kakuzu could see his lanky figure clear from the rooftop, as the blinking neon painted him in a different color with every blink. There was that particular shade of red which suited him so well. But the green wasn’t bad either.

The Target should be coming out soon. He put his rifle together and waited. Every now and then a group of drunk people would come out but none fitted the description and the photographs. He was sure Hidan was already at the end of his patience.

Not an hour passed when another group of men came out. Five of them; ragged clothes, greasy hair and already shitfaced enough that none of them could walk straight. He recognized the man from the photograph, walking behind the others. He had a bottle in hand but he really looked like he would simply pass out if he had one more sip. Kakuzu leaned closer to the edge of the rooftop and waited a few seconds. One of the men looked up. Too late.

\- Get ready. - Kakuzu said into his headset. He pulled the trigger.

These long seconds never failed to send chills down his spine; the shock, the gasps, the despair – the body falling on the ground, confused shouting, the disguised fear in their eyes that they will be the next, that they should try and reach for their gun—

But they can only fail.

He saw Hidan walk towards the confused group, hands tucked in his pocket. That shit-eating grin on his face would have been a reason enough for those guys to pull a weapon on him.

\- What- what the fuck is happening? - a surprisingly sober voice could be heard from the small group.

\- Vulture’s back bitch, that’s what’s happening. - Hidan grinned, gun already in his hand; he looked into his eyes as he pulled the trigger.

But that boy was fast, the bullet only grazed his scalp as he jumped away. He pulled out his gun – but he didn’t have the chance to use it as a bullet came flying from the left, hitting the gun out of his hand. The next bullet went for the spine. The boy fell on the ground with a heavy thud, dust flying in the air around him.

\- I could’ve dealt with him alone! - Hidan shouted angrily; Kakuzu just smiled and reloaded. He was sure of that.

But Hidan didn’t have time to be angry as another guy rushed at him, flinging a knife around wildly. Hidan was laughing loudly. He could avoid the cuts easily; the combination of alcohol and adrenaline is good for bloodthirst but not for coordination. Hidan was still having his fun nevertheless; next thing Kakuzu heard was him shooting that drunk bastard on the knee before starting to beat him up.

The gunshots didn’t seem to faze the citizens and neither did the wailing of that man; Kakuzu expected turmoil and police sirens, people to be barging out of the bar to see what’s happening. But nothing. The silence, save for that drunkard’s screams, was disturbing –  _what kind of people are these, what the hell’s going on, is this a trap?_ -, but it only made their job easier. Hidan kept on punching the guy until his face was all dark and unrecognizable – when did he put on those brass knuckles – and he kept on rambling about how he will be a fine sacrifice, he has been chosen,  _Jashin will appreciate him_. Kakuzu sighed and looked away and tried not to listen to the rest of this speech.

There were two people left when Hidan started fighting with this one but it seems they have run away; so there are still sensible people left in this city. He wondered if they would alert anyone and he could only hope Hidan would finish his fascinating brutality soon. He started packing his stuff.

Then the body fell on the ground lifeless. Kakuzu got his bag and climbed down the ladder, rifle in his hand. Just in case. He found Hidan standing by his building, kissing his rosary yet again. Lord, they’ll be caught if he starts praying here. But he was lucky, Hidan opened his eyes right as he got off the ladder.

\- Man, this was too quick. They were no match. - Hidan walked up to him, wiping his hands in his once-white shirt.

\- Can anyone be?

Hidan laughed out loud; his voice echoed from the dirty walls. Somewhere in the distance a dog started barking.

\- But Vulture? Really? That’s the lamest name I’ve ever heard. - Kakuzu continued.

\- Fuck off. Whose prison name was Stitches anyways?

\- Wow, you actually remembered something I told you?

\- I was just guessing.

The streets were empty as they left. Nobody followed them, they couldn’t even hear any sirens, nothing. They got to the car in safety, which Kakuzu carefully checked before getting in. Nothing. Again.

\- This place is fucking weird. - Kakuzu sighed as they got in the car.

\- Told ya. - Hidan laughed.

\- This wasn’t exactly a subtle attack and no one cared.  _You_  were there and no one fucking cared. I prepared for a bounty hunter or two, and nothing, not even the police came. Not that I mind.

-Yeah. Well, everyone is so invested in their own bullshittery that they just don’t give a fuck about others.

\- So I guess you are only an urban legend now at best.

\- Most likely. Fuckin’ great.

\- I see. You want one? - he asked as he pulled out a cigarette packet out of his pocket. Hidan held his hand out immediately.

\- What kinda fucking question is that?

Hidan put the cigarette between his teeth and with a smirk he leaned closer to light it with the end of Kakuzu’s.

\- That’s pretty much the least practical way to light a cigarette. - Kakuzu rolled his eyes, but his light grin betrayed him.

\- Oh shut up, you know you find it hot. - Hidan laughed, blowing out the smoke.

\- You are hopeless.

And they left the city. Mission accomplished.

**Author's Note:**

> First of all I must say that participating in this secret santa was so much fun! I learned a lot while writing this (for example that I really need deadlines to actually be able to post something) and I'm so glad that through this I was finally able to gather the courage to finally upload something I wrote. And yeah I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed this and Happy Holidays to everyone!


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